Today I had a mum of one message me to say she thinks she’s going crazy. This is what I told her….
The first years of having your first baby are hard.
It’s hard whether your baby was delivered out of your (now ruined) fanny, by C-section, if you’ve adopted or you’ve had an IVF miracle.
And it’s ok to feel like you’re losing your mind…
It’s ok to get to 3pm and realise you haven’t had a cup of tea let alone eaten yet wonder why you’re not even slightly hungry or thirsty yet you still want to lose 3 stone.
It’s ok to wake up at 7am and have a lump in your throat within 30 seconds wondering how the hell you’re going to get through the day ahead.
Its ok to want to punch Anna in the throat at Toddler Group when she questions why your feeding your baby a Heinz jar instead of following her BLW group on Facebook and allowing him to devour a whole organic lamb chop.
It’s ok to have to clench your fists at 5pm to cope with your anger because your toddler has hurled the pasta bake across the floor that you spent 2 hours lovingly baking whilst following the toddler recipe page to be a good mum…then whilst you’re scraping it off the floor he continues to spit out the tiny bit you did manage to get in his gob and screws his face up in disgust like he’s sucked on a sour lolly.
It’s ok to give her a load of toys in the bath whilst you sit propped against it scrolling through Facebook & sipping wine feeling envious of all the pictures of the ‘perfect’ families out there.
It’s ok to wonder what prison sentence you’d receive at 3am when you want to inflict so much pain on your partner as you’re getting up to see to the baby for the 26262726th time that night and he’s still sound asleep.
It’s ok to feel rage at getting up for the 26262726th time that night and muttering about what a selfish dick your baby is, then feeling so guilty for ever muttering such words & falling head over heels in-love as soon as you pop his bottle in and he looks at you with those eyes.
It’s ok to wonder if it is actually selfish to not have a family holiday next year but instead spend it on a boob job, or a tummy tuck, or Botox….
It’s ok to google ‘can lack of sleep kill you’ at 5am.
Ultimately, it’s ok not to be ok.
It’s ok if you need to speak to someone or if you need a little help of some medication to get you through.
It’s ok to tell people you’re just finding it hard.
If more people admitted to how bloody hard the first few years are maybe it would actually make things a lot easier for all of us.