Once upon a time…

Once upon a time there was a mummy who couldn’t handle her drink.  About 3 Saturday nights a year she got babysitters for all 5 sprogs & went out. It was a night where she got so excited so she downed alcohol like she was a teenager…cocktails & wine & beer, mixing it all up […]

Can lack of sleep kill you?

Today I had a mum of one message me to say she thinks she’s going crazy. This is what I told her…. The first years of having your first baby are hard. It’s hard whether your baby was delivered out of your (now ruined) fanny, by C-section, if you’ve adopted or you’ve had an IVF […]

Breaking point

Today I’ve received a message from a lady at breaking point.  She told me her 15 year old step-daughter hates her, she’s had a huge row with her husband because he always sides with his daughter and his ex-wife continues to call him making accusations about how their daughter is being treated and her Christmas […]


So, I let the kids choose what family activity we should do together. They chose swimming. Bastard swimming… I spend 40 minutes packing the mountain of towels, costumes, shorts, shit toys that sink to the bottom of the pool that no-one actually swims down to collect, shampoo, conditioner, body wash, talc (to speed up the […]

Innocent conversations

Isn’t it funny how listening to your children’s innocent conversations can hurt your heart without them even knowing….. Driving along with all five babies and Betsy points out out the window to Tallulah her friend and her mum…. Tallulah “It isn’t her mum, I told you, it’s her foster mum, she isn’t allowed to see […]

Work-Parenting-Life Balance

I have received hundreds of messages since my original post, from all types of people – they have come as far as Sweden and Australia. These are mums who stay at home but yearn to work, from dads who work too hard and too far away from home, from women who are now Grandmas that […]

We’re all the same

Today in-between work meetings I stopped at Tesco to grab some lunch….I might have been losing my shit on the phone to a contractor, slightly too loud, with the window down, when a brand new white Audi 4×4 pulled up alongside me… ….out got a pristine lady…platinum blonde hair no roots, with this seasons mulberry […]


Most days Betsy hates being the big sister. She has two younger sisters who constantly trash her room, steal her limited-edition sharpie pens, trot about the house in her expensive leotards and wake her up each morning way before she’s ready. She has two younger brothers that always guess her iPhone password and prank call […]

Back to school

So we are only into day 3 of ‘back to school’ and I’ve been a ‘shit mum’ repeatedly since Monday. This weeks epic fuck ups have included: Leaving 2 coats worth £60 on the pavement because I was too busy trying to convince a 2 year old it’s ok to piss in a bush before […]