Blogging for me has always felt a bit like when my first kid started Primary school when I walked into the playground on the first day of term.
She didn’t get her chosen placement at the school I wanted so was brand new as she hadn’t been to the pre-school the previous year.
That ball of anxiety kept growing in my stomach over the fact I didn’t know one other mum yet they all seemed to know each other and whilst chatting and laughing between themselves I could feel their eyes bore into me and their tones hush whilst they were all working out who the new mum was.
Here I was trying to reassure a nervous Betsy she would be absolutely fine and make loads of new friends when I was bordering on having a panic attack that nobody seemed to want to talk to me or my baby or make us feel welcome.
Since I’ve been Blogging I’ve noticed other bloggers ‘click’. They go to each-others events, they share their news, they like each-others posts and they seem to be a huge group of friends.
Despite me trying to involve myself, sending messages & sharing their posts I’ve felt I’ve been ignored and I’ve come to accept that maybe I don’t sit in their circle, and I get that – my life isn’t perfect – in fact I fuck up every single day – and I catalogue my fuck ups…and I swear and I lose my shit.
Last week Constance Hall contacted me, she had arrived in the U.K. and been informed of my page through one of her million Queens.
She asked permission to share my Morhercare post and she invited me along to her Bristol show.
Today, my sister & I rocked up nervous as fuck, I met a shitload of my crew who were just full of love for what we do, one of which made my sister & I amazing handmade crowns.
I sat in the audience and I listened to women from the UK, Oz & America tell their stories.
I watched a survivor of rape sob through telling her ordeal.
I listened to a mum who’s currently being subjected to Domestic Violence, desperate for help to get out.
I heard from a lady who’s suffering parental alienation from her own two daughters at the hands of her ex-husband, fighting just for supervised contact.
I was invited up with Con who announced me with the introduction “You got 2 for the price of 1 fuckers”….
I then listened to a mum who after having her first baby was desperate…she was suffering and when she stumbled over my Mothercare post that Con shared last week she bravely wrote on the comments how bad things were – today she went to Cons show with another one of my crew who contacted her through that very post to offer her the support she needed….and she personally thanked me, because of us she now has a load of new mates looking out for her & her baba.
So you know what, I might not fit in.
I might not get invited to events and shows. I might not get my posts liked or shared by other bloggers – but Con wears her heart on her sleeve, she’s similar to me in the fact she shares her mistakes, because she’s human, she gives no fucks and it makes other women all over the world feel like they’re not failing….and today it worked, it worked for both of us and the thousands of women in that room that shared laughter and tears & got the best therapy session ever.
So thank you Con, thank you for inviting me to share your stage…and for making me feel welcome. You’re a friend for life and you fucking rock 💜